Battening of the Hatches

It's been a couple years since my kids have been home with me full time long term.  I worked last summer, so they did "kid camp" (daycare, but the then 5-year-old thought he was too big for daycare so we slapped a different label on it) all day but for some time out for vacation.  They're older now, a hell of a lot more independent, and I don't expect it will be the same level of insanity as it was when they were 2 years and 4 years.  And because I don't expect it, it will be.  I know how this works.

Thus, I have prepared.  Y'all, I have charts on top of charts.  Literally.

I have 70,000 Post-Its and a 50 lb. bag of rocks and a list of lunches (so I don't have to actually use my brain on a daily basis, just every once in a while) and all the crafting supplies on the planet.  I WILL NOT GO GENTLY INTO THAT DARK NIGHT. 

Things That Will Be Happening:

- Every Monday, we're going to make something.  (Get it?  Monday?  Make something?  SHUT UP I KNOW I NEED TO BACK AWAY FROM THE PINTEREST.)  Might be crafts, might be a movie, might be a fort, might be a margarita.  I'm not picky.

- Taking field trips.  On Tuesdays.  The alliteration continues.  In fact, it's a thing.  All week.  I don't really need to talk about it anymore.  (PS, in case you were wondering why Tuesdays specifically, it's because my research shows that's the least-populated day of the week for most of the museums and whatnot we're interested in.  Also, I can hear you laughing about my doing research.  That's not nice.)

- Geocaching on Wednesdays.  Okay, so maybe I need to talk about it.  Walking on Wednesdays was originally the thing, but if you actually call it walking the boys hear "chopping off one's legs at one's knees" and so we'll just stick with geocaching, which they call "treasure hunting". 

- Acts of kindness.  We can do these whenever the moment is upon us, but I've set aside Thursdays (Thoughtful's okay, I hate me, too) for special kindness projects.

- Library on Friday.  I really couldn't come up with an F that matches anything to do with the library, except maybe Freethinking, but that seemed like I was maybe starting a cult or a commune or something and I really don't want to go down in the annals of history with Koresh and Jones just for taking my kids to the library once a week.

- Vacations!  We've got one full week planned with my parents in Tennessee, a three-day mini vacation with friends in Maryland, and we're working on a long weekend kind of deal with my husband's parents in South Carolina.  I like to call those the "I will give you your weight in cake if you will just behave in front of other people" days.

Things That Will NOT Be Happening:

- Having a 24/7 plan.  I have stuff planned, obviously, but only one of the days during the week is a full-day plan (taking a trip).  One is maybe half day (geocaching, depending on how far we go).  The other three days will involve one activity and then they're on their own.  Weekends are completely unplanned unless we see something we want to go do as a family.  Fear not, all ye who subscribe to the "let them play and be kids and be bored and freeeeeeeee raaaaaaaange" school of parenting.  I carry your card, too, right next to my mom-who-plans-too-much-crap ID.  There will be plenty of booting short people out into the yard and locking the door behind them so I can clean the house and prepare meals and polish the silver.  (And by all of that, I mean eat ice cream and binge-watch something involving curse words on Netflix.  Duh.)

- Inflexibility.  For all my calendars and notebooks and sticky notes, if we wake up on a day I've got marked down to, say, go to an aquarium and the children are throat punching each other at the breakfast table and I'm trying to figure out in which time zone it's 5:00 p.m. when it's 8:00 a.m. in mine, I'm totally cool with locking everyone in their respective rooms instead and buying chocolate in bulk online.  Also, if we just wake up and don't feel like it.  But let's be real, the other scenario is more likely.

- Anything fancy.  This includes cooking with more than five ingredients and wearing makeup.  My goal is to end the summer wearing nothing but freckles (ON MY FACE, perv) and be 95% composed of mac and cheese.

With that, I have clearly thought of everything and nothing can possibly go wrong.  (If the universe is going to light me on fire anyway, might as well earn it.)  Bring on next Monday.  But not at 6:00 a.m., 4-YEAR-OLD.


  1. This sounds awesome! Explains why you've been kicking butt on your Fitbit!


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